Our wedding, in lieu of flowers, we made donations for a good cause, the guests are so upset that they won't

speak to us now!



My husband and I love our cat dearly as everyone who attended our wedding knows ... so instead of favors we put cards with a picture of our cat on the table saying in lieu of flowers, we have put money aside in your name to build a pet cemetery.



We have already figured out the proper burial we will have for our cat (he's got another 5-10 years to go), but we think other cats deserve the same.



Most guests were in an uproar at the wedding, but I thought it would pass and they would get over it.



I think they may be upset because they have a pretty good idea that we are going to put the money from the wedding towards the creation of a pet cemetery.



But it is our money, and we should be able to do what we want with it, right? I'm really hurt that most people won't even talk to us!



What is your opinon? I think it's quite debatable.

Our wedding, in lieu of flowers, we made donations for a good cause, the guests are so upset that they won't
It's not like it was their money. What were they planning on doing, taking the flowers as party favors for themselves afterwards? I think that sounds very selfish of them. And I really like your idea. I love my cats and I would have been honored to have someone build an entire little pet cemetery and give up something for their wedding. I say good for you.





p.s. People need to read these questions. She is NOT using the wedding gift money, she was using her own money that they had been planning on using for the wedding flowers. She can use her own money on whatever the heck she wants as long as her new husband and her agree on it, and they did.
Reply:I did the same thing at my wedding but for another cause, my guests loved it and thought it was a great idea. Do flowers make a wedding? The wedding is about the bride, groom and the fun you have and that is it. If your guests dont appreciate that then who cares about them let em stuff thier heads in some pillow for the shame of insulting you that way. You should be offended by them. I choose to have a memorial to my family members who had died and could not be with us to celebrate. I did that for me not for anyone else it was my way of healing.
Reply:you should have just asked for the money and not tell them what you are using it for. its a wedding gift thats all they needed to know. Who wants to think of a dead pet or cemetery at a wedding?
Reply:Well... if youre saying the WEDDING gift money... then your wrong because they gave you that money to help you out, so you could 'start a new life together' If they knew you would use it for something else then you KNOW they wouldnt have given it to you. Youre wasting their money... like if someone gave you a car, because you didnt have one and needed one to get to work, you would go and sell it and use it for a cat cemetary, would you? thats really disrespectful... you should use your own money, and ask for donations for that specific cause... not your wedding money
Reply:I think that your guests were probably perplexed as to why you would choose your wedding as a time to make such a statement. Why announce it to everyone? Why not just do what you want with your money. Really - it seems very odd to me.
Reply:i thinks its pretty morbid to do that at a wedding when you celebrating a new life and journey together then add death in their.

just my opinion don't think it was a good idea
Reply:I think that it was a very creative and great idea because it meant something to you instead of doing the typical wedding thing....I really don't think that most people would care, as long as there is an open bar :) So I really don't know why your guests would freak out if it was just the money from the flowers BUT if the guests were writing you checks for you and your husband, then they should not be told the money is going to the pet cemetary! Just take the money and do what you want with it....and don't forget to say thanks!
Reply:What is up with these people? Who cares what you do with the money you received as wedding GIFTS. That is the whole thing in a nut shell, they gave the money to you for a gift and now it is yours. Why should they care what is done with it? This is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard of. People being mad about you taking money and building a pet cemetery.



When my oldest daughter got married a number of years ago, She wanted a much larger wedding than her father and I could afford so she didn't make her house payment for 2 months before the wedding. Saying she would make the 2 payments with her wedding gift money. The wedding came and she received enough money to make the 2 payments and have enough left over to do a lot of things with. Instead, she and her new husband, partied and partied, the bank foreclosed on their home and they are living with his parents along with their 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter. I think that what you are doing is much more responsible and sensible than my oldest daughter's foolishness.



If they are not talking to you then they weren't your friends anyway....
Reply:Wow....hmmm ...I dont know quite what to say . You are presumptious to tell people you are using their names on somethinag without asking them. And using the venue of your wedding to spring this surprise on them?



I chuckle because your friends really didn't know you very well at all since they didn't see the larger side of you which seems to be self-serving and arogant and a bit braggish about what you saw as a humanitarian deed. Wow...now that is a mouthful of cake!
Reply:I think I hate cats and this would really piss me off wasting space for a cemetery for them.

I do enjoy shooting stray cats to curb the impact they have on the wild bird population



http://www.cartoonstock.com/101_dead_cat...
Reply:Putting aside WEDDING money to build a pet cemetary is totally weird in my opinion, and really doesn't make sense in the context of what a wedding is supposed to mean (traditionally).



That said, your wedding is your day, and it is no one's business but yours how you celebrate it. Your family should shut up and mind their business. You should be mad at them for being so judgemental. Anyone who got upset at that was obviously attending your wedding hoping to get something out of it for themself, rather than to celebrate you and enjoy your company. So screw them!
Reply:Probably it's a nice sentiment to want to have a nice place for people to bury their cats. I love cats too. BUT - death and marriage don't really mix so well, do they? Once I gave a friend a dartboard ( a really nice one) for a wedding present. They later got divorced, and now I see that my present was not particularly auspicious.
Reply:I agree with only a couple of things here. I agree that it is your money and you can do with it as you please. I agree that donating money to a good cause is a good idea. However, I do NOT agree that a pet cemetery is a good idea. A better one would have been to donate to Susan G. Komen or the American Heart Association, the American Cancer Society, research on juvenile diabetes, rheumatiod arthritis, or most any medical research. What people felt like was they were wasting their money on a dumb pet cemetery. They thought you might use the money for a house or something to do with that. If you were going to do this, you should have just taken the money and kept your mouth shut about what it was going to.



I know there are TONS of people who love their pets like children and think it is a great idea but you have to look at this from the guests point of view. I would be mad too. I can guarantee most of those people will not send gifts when it is baby shower time. People don't give hard earned money for things like pet cemeteries. They feel cheated.
Reply:because thats WEIRD. i mean really really weird. and morbid.
Reply:some do that instead of gifts or flowers they ask guest to share for a charitable institution. I think its a noble idea having a pet cemetery, you can ask those upset if they want the cemetery is for them.
Reply:Okay, so it's not their money, and its not their wedding, and I know you love your cat, but PLEASE! Wrong time to do this. You could have done things in a much classier manner, like just saying that the money for the flowers went to a charitable organization instead. A cemetery? That is not exactly the thought I want when I'm sitting as a guest at someone's wedding. There are so many other organizations you could have given to-the ASPCA for example! I imagine your guests would have reacted differently to a picture of a fluffy kitten...or your own cat...if done in a cute fashion, with a note saying that the flower money went to help find other pets a good home, a fresh start, a new life!
Reply:It never ceases to amaze me how so many people continue to hold on to expectations when they give a gift (or receive one for that matter). It rather defeats the purpose of giving a gift. There seems to always be unspoken conditions and expectations. Someone once told me the definition of expectations is premeditated resentment. I betcha any money that if you guys had bought china, someone would complain about the pattern. Same if you'd bought furniture. If you guys wanted to blow the whole wad gambling in Vegas, that's your choice. I think you may have invited the wrong guests to your wedding if they aren't speaking to you because they don't agree with your decision. Seems pretty silly to me but then, I am a Cat. I think humans are pretty strange at the best of times.